My Best Kisses: Episode 2 — Straight to My Head

A beer balancing act and the kiss that broke the spell.

I’m back with another kiss and tell. Thank you for waiting, because this one is all about anticipation. Let’s dive in.

Straight to my head

This wasn’t a first kiss. He’d abruptly smooched me goodbye after a mixed signal date, and we’d also made out after stumbling into a room of table-dancing Belgians (a classic encounter). But there’d been months of distance, friendship and sobriety since, so nothing was certain.

On this Saturday night we’d both been out on respective adventures and on my way home he suggested I reroute to his place to sip beer cans and swap Sum41 tracks.

“Bring vapes and vibes.”

After several phone calls about the address, door code and apartment floor, I made it inside, vapeless but vibeful. He handed me a beer and we plonked on the sofa to debrief our evenings, talk about other formative bands from our youth and erupt in silly giggles for an hour or so.

As the sensible time to leave approached, I found I was both relieved to have kept to our respective couch cushions and disappointed nothing romantic had eventuated. I went to pick up my phone, and that’s when his hand came behind me… and placed a half-full beer can on the top of my head.

“Stay still!”

I laughed.

“Stop laughing!”

I laughed more.

“Stop laughing. Stop, stop, stop. Stay still.”

I stifled my giggles.

“Don’t move.”

His voice had deepened.

“Stay there.”

I steadied myself.

“Don’t move.”

He took his hand away from the can.

“Don’t. Move.”

I didn’t move. I was frozen beneath Beavertown’s best. One twitch and the Neck Oil would be just that. Remaining fixed was hard with the amount of cans I had already consumed, but I focused.

“That’s it.”

My breathing slowed.

“Close your eyes.”

My heartbeat quickened, and though my eyes were shut I could sense him shifting on the couch. The moment seemed to stretch out like caramel, but I held poised, until finally I felt the air around my face part and an ale-wet mouth met mine.

Captive, his canvas lips moved against me, but I remained perfectly upright. I was an ice sculpture wishing so desperately to melt, but spellbound by a man with a can. Until suddenly, he swiped the beer from my head, releasing me from my statued state and into his arms.

No, it wasn’t a first kiss, but it felt like one.

Lighting 3/5

Performance 4/5

Script 5/5

I’d love to hear your best kisses — from real life or cinema.